xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
For those who knew Laura (WebWawa or Lawawawa or just Wawa), she passed today.

She had been struggling with adenocarcinoma for a while. Initial chemo, and then Tarceva maintenance gave her several more years. It re-metastasized and got into her brain. She'd had surgery and stereoscopic radiation treatment, which seemed to help at first. Then, they found two rapidly growing tumors near her vision center in her brain, and she elected to go through whole-brain radiation treatments. Ultimately, this, like any other massive radiation, was a big burden on her blood cell counts. That lead to infections and weakness, that ultimately led to her passing.

Laura was very sweet and had a great smile. For a while, she had bring pink hair, which was fun. She was always happy, and creative. She was blessed to have a very supporting family and a loving husband. Their loss will be great.

It pretty much sucks all the way around, but she was wonderful and made lots of people feel happy. We were all lucky to know her.

You will be missed. :(

Ref: https://www.facebook.com/webwawa/posts/10151957588592251
38 minutes ago

Dear Friends,

This is Laura's sister, Leslie. It is difficult for me to write this and I am sure it will be difficult for you to read, but I need to let you know that Laura passed away around 3:30 this afternoon.

The doctors in Dallas determined that Laura had necrotizing fasciitis and her body was not able to defend itself against such a voracious disease. My mom and I both made it to Dallas in time to be there with Trey and her wonderful oncologist, Dr. Nadler, when she passed away. She left this world with the same grace and peace she exuded each day that she lived in it. The loss of Laura leaves a void in our lives that I can only hope we will be able to fill somehow with all of our wonderful memories of her.

We will not be having a traditional service for Laura because Laura was not a traditional girl. Our thought right now is to do something simple at the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation walk on Saturday, May 3 in Dallas. She was really looking forward to walking this event with her team of Wawa's Warriors. We will now be walking in her memory. I will post info as I know it.

If you would like to register to join her team to walk or make a contribution to the walk in Laura's memory, below is the link to her personal page. I hope it works. I don't know how to work Laura's samsung phone very well.

http://ynsitc.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1093667&lis=1&kntae1093667=AB4A795E103F4F629267F43107DAAFB6&supId=351272737

Thank you all for your love and support. Each and every one of us is a Wawa Warrior in some way.

Love,
Leslie on behalf of my mom, my dad, and Trey
http://omnitech.net/xaminmo/2014/04/11/laura-mccracken/
xaminmo: (Josh 2004 Happy)
For those who knew Laura (WebWawa or Lawawawa or just Wawa), she passed today.

She had been struggling with adenocarcinoma for a while. Initial chemo, and then Tarceva maintenance gave her several more years. It re-metastasized and got into her brain. She'd had surgery and stereoscopic radiation treatment, which seemed to help at first. Then, they found two rapidly growing tumors near her vision center in her brain, and she elected to go through whole-brain radiation treatments. Ultimately, this, like any other massive radiation, was a big burden on her blood cell counts. That lead to infections and weakness, that ultimately led to her passing.

Laura was very sweet and had a great smile. For a while, she had bring pink hair, which was fun. She was always happy, and creative. She was blessed to have a very supporting family and a loving husband. Their loss will be great.

It pretty much sucks all the way around, but she was wonderful and made lots of people feel happy. We were all lucky to know her.

You will be missed. :(

Ref: https://www.facebook.com/webwawa/posts/10151957588592251
38 minutes ago

Dear Friends,

This is Laura's sister, Leslie. It is difficult for me to write this and I am sure it will be difficult for you to read, but I need to let you know that Laura passed away around 3:30 this afternoon.

The doctors in Dallas determined that Laura had necrotizing fasciitis and her body was not able to defend itself against such a voracious disease. My mom and I both made it to Dallas in time to be there with Trey and her wonderful oncologist, Dr. Nadler, when she passed away. She left this world with the same grace and peace she exuded each day that she lived in it. The loss of Laura leaves a void in our lives that I can only hope we will be able to fill somehow with all of our wonderful memories of her.

We will not be having a traditional service for Laura because Laura was not a traditional girl. Our thought right now is to do something simple at the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation walk on Saturday, May 3 in Dallas. She was really looking forward to walking this event with her team of Wawa's Warriors. We will now be walking in her memory. I will post info as I know it.

If you would like to register to join her team to walk or make a contribution to the walk in Laura's memory, below is the link to her personal page. I hope it works. I don't know how to work Laura's samsung phone very well.

http://ynsitc.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1093667&lis=1&kntae1093667=AB4A795E103F4F629267F43107DAAFB6&supId=351272737

Thank you all for your love and support. Each and every one of us is a Wawa Warrior in some way.

Love,
Leslie on behalf of my mom, my dad, and Trey
xaminmo: (Josh 2004 Happy)
I was at a school in south Arlington. So many little details about the school snd people. It was probably the 1950s but not really. Something happened politically and a small atomic bomb went off to the east.

My mom and I knew it first because we already saw it happen and came back in time to stop it. Unortunately, we could not do anything about it.

My mom had time cloned herself and her clone was going to sacrifice herself. She was calling herself Penny. I was sad, because a already knew that both of them would die.

The school was directly in the wind path, and we could not get anyone to leave. After the blast, it was about sheltering in place.

The VIP room was having breakfast for people who arrived that day. Mom and I had breakfast yesterday, but the selection was better today. McCaffrey's family was there, and a grandmother who was social, but would reach over and stir someone's food with her finger, then splash the food, when they were not looking.

I was sad, because I was stuck here, in a second iteration of this horrid day.

I left to go help people, but it was too close. Everyone was doing the same things as last time. A gathering to talk about the conflict, then the boom in the distance.

I walked. I knew my mom was dead, and I figured I could teleport or jaunt home. I couldn't. I was outside and saw the mushroom cloud on the near horizon, drifting slowly towards us. Maybe it was my upset, or the people around me, but I realized I could not teleport anymore because my mom was dead. Both of them.

I walked home. I had not veen tgere in a long time. I saw transit bussed all along, but they were too slow. Soo many stops. No one knew about the blast but a few people called out that it sort of looked like a mushroom cloud. It was.

I walked into a house that looked like my mom's, but expanded, rearranged, and renovated very nicely. A nice, big, friendly dog was there. A lady wa on the phone and I mouthed "sorry" to her as I left. No problem. The dog followed me out the screen door.

I was sad, but would be okay.


So I woke up, and it sucked. I was going to call my mom and tell her about it.

Then I remembered she is really dead in real life as of 2005-12-26. It was like a nuclear bomb went off. I don't think I'll ever "get over" the death of my mom. I don't think anyone ever really does. She is the anchor, until she's not.

But you learn to move on. By now, most days are fine, but once in a while, I'll indulge the sadness and the memories for a minute. This dream had all of the emotions.

Mom would have loved to see the kids growing up.
http://omnitech.net/xaminmo/2013/12/21/nuclear-dream/
xaminmo: (Moon 2004 Animation)
A little faster than we thought.
He passed at 3:30am in Tulsa. :/

Burial services are either Sunday afternoon (after church service) or sometime Monday in Morris.

*sigh*

He was a neat old man. It would have been nice if our lives had overlapped more often.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
Yesterday, a fire truck and ambulance pulled in front of our house. 6 men went to the house with a gurney.

I thought maybe the husband had been hurt. He had back surgery a year ago, but seemed to be doing well the last time I saw him out and about.

A little later, there were also two police cars, and a plain-clothes detective in an unmarked SUV. The gurney was still out front with the medical equipment on it. They were searching the suburban in the driveway.

So then, I thought maybe disturbance, or drug related thing, but I didn't know.

Later that evening, lots and lots of people were visiting.

Today, we get flowers to the wife from Utah, an employer, giving condolences for her loss.

She came by, and told us what happened. She came home and crawled in bed with her husband. He was already cold and had died while she was out.

They have three kids, one at college, two in highschool.

Your spouse is a stand in for your parents, and for friendship, and for support of every type. They are your foundation, and among the most important pillars of your life.

So difficult.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
We stayed up too late, so went to sleep at almost 3am
Kids were kind enough to self entertain until about 10.
Of course, we had to FEED them.
I made eggs and cereal for Khai,
and leftover pei wei for Max, served about 11am.

Kids are playing upstairs afterwards and Erica smells something.
"Not me" I say, and we determine that Khai crapped in his undies.
It spirals down to throwing away contaminated toys and overall anger.

Various other frustrations occur all day, including kitchen spills,
and a work server that is very unmaintained and has DB corruption.

Midday my Aunt calls.
The wife of one of her Busse cousins died of colon cancer.
Service in Norman, OK and my uncle will represent the fam.

Then, early evening, a friend calls. One of our mutual friends' wife died this morning.
His wife had recently had surgery, but was doing OK it seemed.
He made a quick trip to take his mom to the Airport.
By the time he got back, it was already too late.
It looks like the pain meds might have built up to an OD unexpectedly.

I'm heading out to visit with my friend tomorrow afternoon.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
However, around 10pm, the entire court was lit up like daylight, glowing blue. 60Hz rumbled throughout the entire neighborhood. Our power flickered, went out, and came back on a few seconds later.

After about THIRTY SECONDS, the light and the sound faded, but an orange glow was still pretty bright.

WTF!?!?!

I crack the door and it happens again. I hear some men hollaring. It all stops, but the tree in the back yard of my neighbors has little burning embers on it.

I go out with my phone, and call 411, and try to get TXU electric. As I'm navigating the 105620385602863 level VRU, the lady in the center of our court comes out of her house.

She's scared shitless, and she's getting the kids out of the house. She asks me to call 911 and I do, because the tree keeps catching fire and going out. Periodically, there are faint fizzles of boiling electricity and copper, and a little more glow, but nothing compared to the huge blasts from before.

911 takes my info and description and tries to get my city's police department. Busy signal.

I carry over one of the 5 fire extinguishers I have as surplus from 1980s building projects (still have a good charge, metal heads, so whatever, right?)

So we're talking about it, and they say TXU was out there. I look, and see the bucket truck still idling there. It's floodlight is on, and the bucket is down.

And I realize something.

The voice of the hollaring doesn't match Fred's, and they were inside their house when it happenned. No one is making a sound back there, and the truck is still idling.

I hope they spooked and ran away rather than getting roasted.

Her husband, Fred, is out, unlocking the gate in case they need to get back there. He's more worried about the little firey embers that drop and self extinguish in the frozen sleet than the risk of getting totally roasted himself. Truly, this was distribution power sound, not any of that 480v crap. This is the sort of stuff that makes a plasma bridge across a huge spark gap. It stopped because something interrupted the current, or a breaker tripped downline and reset later. He doesn't need to get any closer to the tree than the tree is tall. I tell him it's better to let his house catch fire than to get roasted because that stuff will light up the ground (ie, it's damp, cold, etc).

They said the last transformer problem was a few weeks ago. They were without power from 4am to 7pm. It's cold tonight. So many neighbors are without power.

Since we have power, I offered them to come over if they want to warm up or need anything.

Fire dept comes and we give them info about what happenned. They can get to it better from the school's field. So they drive off, and 5 mins later, we still don't see or hear them.

Granted, I know they need to make sure the power gets cut at both poles before they can check it out, but I would have hoped they'd make a presence to keep random night wanderers away.

I don't know if someone used the wrong transformer, or mixed up the primary and secondary coils, or slipped on something wet, or let a distribution line touch the bucket, but it was bad.

Anyway, at 10:33pm I went out there and the glowing was stopped, power was off, and there is a white strobe light in the alleyway. I hope everyone's ok.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
A) The commercials don't REALLY convey what the movie is about
B) The movie is interleaved and interwoven
C) The movie has beautiful imagery. Compare to "What Dreams May Come", but a little less over the top imaginary.
D) The movie will touch you deeply if you watch it and will take you on an exploratory ride in your mind about life, death, and everything along that ring.

I was stuck in the movie for a little over an hour after I watched it. It's good. I highly recommend it.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
I was in some other town. It was similar to Santa Fe but was more spread out, easier to navigate, completely homey feel.

We were visiting Erica's family.

There were lots of parts where I was walking around.

There was a place where for a few hours, all of the boys and girls swapped bathrooms and locker rooms all over the city. It was frustrating.

The women's restrooms said Frau, but it was as long as Frauline, but it wasn't Frauline.

I borrowed Jim's truck a couple of times.

At one point, I pulled a small chain to break it free from some other kind of chain in his truck bed. It broke, freely, because it's one of those folded wire chains. I used it to chain a small grill to the carport. I figured it wasn't safe, but was enough to stop the casual walkerby. I forgot to unchain it after whatever.

There were interesting tunnels from downtown fort worth to here. As in, short walk covers hundreds of miles.

I had friends there, and there were all sorts of dreams chained together, but I only remember the last one.
Read more... )
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Moon Animation)
Friday was a good day. Lots of heavy lifting.
Even into Saturday. There's satisfaction in throwing out shit, filling a dumpster.

Much of the stuff was crap that needed throwing away 2 decades ago, but you know, crap piles up slowly.

But, Saturday afternoon until Sunday afternoon was really tough.

I mean, we got so much accomplished, but still.
2 days of sifting through my own and my mom's memories.
They were stored, piled up, even lost dreams.

Most of the stuff went into a 40yd dumpster.
As in 8ft x 7ft x 20 ft on the inside (plus or minus a couple of inches).

Then it started weighing on me.

The house has been in the family since 1949 or so when it was built.
Barring a couple of years here or there, I grew up there.
This was "my mom's house" -- a permanent fixture.

It's about 950 sqft inside, plus a 1-car garage and a fifth of an acre lot.
The sheds are falling apart, unsafe, so we cleaned them out mostly.
Lots of childhood memories in storage. Some destroyed from rodents, some ok.

There's a swing set. My dad put it up when I was 6.
I remember getting on it when it wasn't ready and it fell on me.
Actually, I remember sitting in the seat,
then I remember being helped off the ground.
I blacked out for the actual fall part.

I remember the shed being built.
"Dad, what are those football shaped things?"
"Those are knot holes."
"I know it's not a hole; what is it?"

I remember the green paint.
I found the old paint can for it too.
I found the old paint can for my book case.

So there's still a bunch to be thrown out.
There are about 20 book boxes to sort, plus some more papers.
Jenn, Lu Ann and Glenda are sorting those this week.

I think there's still stuff in the Attic,
but not a whole lot considering what we cleaned out of the garage.

The house doesn't fit my life, so I can't really keep it.
It still makes me sad to let it go.

We're going to try to sell it this year.
There's a man who has been buying some of the houses in the 'hood,
fixing them up and being landlord to renters.

Andy at the end of the street moved to the neighborhood when I was 4.
She worked for Johnson & Johnson, but was also the lady for hire to do yard work.
She recommended the guy to us.

The guy does his own repairs.
The house needs a little work, mostly maintenance.
It could be made rentworthy for probably $3k to $5k.
If could be made fantabulous for $8k.

This seems like a much better thing than getting a broker.
If he likes the house, I think we'll get a fair price from him.

Though, I think he already likes it.
He did a quick walkthrough on Sunday and will be back on the 9th
when he can get under the house and check there.

Makes me think we should fumigate under the house.
I'm pretty sure there's more than bugs under there.

Anyway.

Thinking of the house not being ours it tough,
sort of like the tough of thinking about how many years I have to go without my mom.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
Neil Finn - LULLABY REQUIEM
Goodnight, bless you
Let angels possess you
you'll make dreams of another life
don't think it's too much
to close your eyes and leave us

in strange places we come undone
and the building blocks
sometimes have to crash
not meant to last
like a mother's love

it's real life, it's all true
you know how i'll miss you
in quiet moments i'll come undone
and the building blocks
sometimes have to crash
not meant to last like a mothers love

sleep comes when all is laid to rest
that's when you'll find what you're looking for
strange feelings you can't explain
wild forces you can't contain

and the building blocks
sometimes have to crash
not built to last like a mother's love
peace comes when fear is laid to rest
that's when you'll find what you're looking for
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
So, somehow I ended up on a US Navy site about burial at sea.

They have coined the term, "cremains". Yes, as in Cremated Remains.

It shouldn't but it makes me laugh.

I have many an excuse to be crazy.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
[Link]The strong link between chronic inflammation and cancer should not be surprising when you consider that

* the reactive oxygen species (ROS) liberated during inflammation are powerful DNA-damaging agents [Link];
* increased mitosis in response to inflammation puts more cells at risk of mutations as they replicate their DNA during S phase;
* Apoptosis, the programmed death of damaged cells, is suppressed in inflamed tissue. So cells with precancerous genetic mutations, which should have committed suicide, live on grow into a full-blown cancer.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
In my head, I really just want to go fly to every city I've got friends, get a hug, then fly again to the next city.

I'm thinking there needs to be some sort of NYE shindig at the house if people aren't already occupied. If everyone already has plans, then maybe NYEE instead. :)
xaminmo: (Josh 2014)

Beverly Sue Busse Davis


BSBD, Beverly, Sue, Beverly Sue, Beverly Sue in the Red Tutu.

Pictures
summary, dissertation, memories, and thanks for one of the most amazing people on this planet )

Diabetes.

Dec. 6th, 2005 10:58 pm
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
So, Felix Furlow died of diabetic complications this year.
We weren't close, but we knew eachother among a shared set of friends.
We were on the same BBSes together.

I guess he was type-1 because he was never overweight, and aparently had it even back in the end of the BBS days.

My friend Ralphey ( As in Ralph the magic llama ), I think I remember him being on glycophage/glypizide?

My mom's down 34 pounds, but still has a ways to go. She's on insulin, plus other stuff.

My sister was given an ultimatim by her doctor.

I've been in the 131-135 kilo range for a long while but have trouble with willpower to get under this.
For the last 6 weeks I've had the telltale irritability. I'm past due for glucose test. I'm stubborn and don't want to know.

What horrible genes have I passed on?

It's not the "Diabetes" gene. It's the "I crave food" gene. Maybe it's emotional punishment. I know when I'm travelling, engrossed, I tend to skip meals and generally not be hungry because I'm busy. But if I'm in front of food... I want it. One of each thing. Tasty yum yum.

All of the options involve willpower, or medically questionable treatment:
  • Cut out part of your digestive tract
  • Cut the nerve trunk to 500,000 neurons
  • Take drugs that, granted, will suppress appetite and increase mental focus, but have the nasty side-effect of being addictive, affecting hostility/ego, and being generally bad for the heart.


All of the early-stage drugs for type-II diabetes have bad side effects. One makes it such that you can't convert fat back to sugar, and causes you to rapidly convert sugar into fat. Hrm. That doesn't sound like a good thing for obesity-based illness.

I need some serious reprogramming.

Anyway.

Goats.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Barcode)
A friend started a topic of mortality. I'm reposting my info here for archival purposes.
Read more... )
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
I let Dr. French know about dad and he isn't sure, but he will try to be there, and may say a few words as well. I tried e-mailing Dr. Pike, but his address is closed. I know he had a house in Colorado too, so maybe he's fully retired.

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xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
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