xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
Happy father's day to all you dads out there,
and by proxy through all you moms to the dads I don't know.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Moon Animation)
SO, there are these plastic coasters from mom's house.
evolution of thought )

Missing

Apr. 18th, 2006 07:37 pm
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Moon Animation)
Aside from construction management, my dad was a carpenter, more specifically a cabinet maker.
He knew most everything there was to know about construction, and had really good skill.
I wish I call him up and talk to him about our kitchen remodel, among other things.

Thoughts

Jan. 26th, 2003 06:54 pm
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
The thought occurred to me that perhaps I'm keeping myself sick so I won't lose the sound of my dad's cough, which is very similar to my cough.

This thought made me very sad.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
spesis discussion )
A good article on sepsis, septicemia, septic shock, from which much of this is quoted, mashed, etc.

Wife says come to bed now. :) She told me to write that too.

More searching at Google
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
I let Dr. French know about dad and he isn't sure, but he will try to be there, and may say a few words as well. I tried e-mailing Dr. Pike, but his address is closed. I know he had a house in Colorado too, so maybe he's fully retired.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
From my Greymatter journal )
That was on Aug 23
Sept 10 my grandfather died
The morning after my dad's surgery, around 4 or 4:30, my sister had a dream that dad had said, "So I guess it was a little more than pneumonia." and she said "Yah." and he said "Well, alright then."
The hospital said that's the first time that he coded, and they'd kept his body alive, but when we got there, he wasn't there any more, not even a twitch.
He died that same morning, 11:15am, Wed, Jan 15.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
I was pondering what it would have taken to save my dad.
In retrospect, I'd have done it even, though I'm sure neither the medical staff nor my family would have allowed it.

Run arterial blood out of me into my dad and vice versa so he could use my body's immune system and lungs. He would have needed to keep the leg pressure cuffs too, having them pulse to assist with blood return from his legs.

Yah, so it wasn't an option, but I'd have done that because I'm healthy enough to survive the bacteria and such, and my immune system would spread to cover his body. My body would filter out his toxins. I'd have peed alot, breathed heavier, and felt like hell. Hrm. He probably wouldn't have needed as much adrenaline, sodium bicarb, insulin. The drawback is that I'd have to take on the sedatives and such, plus go through fighting the germs for more body, but still.

I'd have done it.

It wasn't just the germs that got him, but that his body took longer to heal/fight disease than he had during this run.

If I'd thought about it enough, I could have at least donated blood to him, which would be slightly better than random donor blood, because I've been around all of his germs, and I'm genetically similar, but I was sick at the time too.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
It sucks for us, but he had been really depressed over the last 2-3 years because of how poor his health has been, expecially over the last year when he's been mostly in institutional health care. It really was his time to go, and I'm glad he doesn't have to suffer mentally, emotionally or physically anymore. I just wish I'd known this was going to be it and I would have talked more with him prior to him going under.

There was a point prior to him going in for surgery where I thought, "you know, if I weren't sick, I could give him some of my blood" because we're the same type and since I've been around him, I'd have antibodies against the bugs which get him the most.

I'm glad I got to know him. I learned so much from him, both his intelligence and examples, good and bad. I'm greedy and I just want him around for me, but I know that in reality he didn't survive the surgery -- only his body did, and only because the medical staff did so much. Their work was more for us than for him.

I just randomly envisioned using the celeron to make a Dan Davis simulator. I'd need his coughs, which I think I might have, plus some talking to break up into phoenetics... A vocabulary, a neural network for responsiveness. I wouldn't be able to really make him of course, but it would be neat to hear him once in a while. :) It seems silly, but it was a neat tangent. :)

Even with thinking on it alot, some of the exact details are fading. It makes me kinda sad. I wish I'd taken photos, even though he was out and all wired up.

He was in the Navy on the USS Oriskany during 1962-1965 as intelligence. I believe this was during the VietNam Conflict, but outside of "the war".

He had too many stories about too many things to have a favorite. :)

Max was his focus ever since he was born. My dad's reason for getting married was for kids and grandkids.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
I've been going through stuff of his I have... He had his passport, new in 1996, never used. He had customs forms for Mexico because he always wanted to go live there, once he got a little better.

I wish it had turned out better. The infection was just too much for him. His diabetes has kept him poorly the last few years and he just wasn't able to heal against so much at once, even with surgery to replace the destroyed parts, there was just too much overall damage.

I wish I'd spent more time with him. It was only in the last 3 years that I'd been getting along better with him. He was so smart and had so much in his brain that I valued. I wanted him to get to spend more time with Max, and to get to know Khai. I miss him calling me and talking about stuff and finances and construction and all the things he's done.

Help?

Jan. 15th, 2003 05:41 pm
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
People keep asking if they can be of help.
Thank you.
The only things I can think of:
A) Become a research immunologist
B) Do not indiscriminately use antibiotics.
C) Be an organ donor and a blood donor.
D) Make a time machine, mind transfer and a cloned adult of my dad.

Thank you all.

Details

Jan. 15th, 2003 04:47 pm
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
Momma was very upset. I don't think she planned on being that upset, but in the last few years my dad had mellowed alot and they had become friends. Aside from that, they had alot of common history, including me and Jen, and including Diabetes II. Mom made a committment in December to regain strength and endurance and lose some of her weight. She's going to be doing physical therapy with my sister every week, so I'm very happy about that.

I want to try and walk in the mornings with Erica and Max.

I think we're looking at N. Dallas Funeral Home at 635 and valley view. I'm not sure if we'll have a body or an urn buried. I kinda think cremation is the best thing since he died of infectious diseases, and since he was very swolen, he didn't/doesn't look like Dan Davis.

He's going to be buried at the US national cemetary in South Dallas with military honors. He had been planning for that and wanted it that way for lack of burden and for just something that could be planned.

Jenn and Jon are taking care of details, as is tradition, and I'm very thankful for that.

Unfortunately, Jenn has double strain because the guy in the beater car who went out of turn and gunned it and got his $500 car hit has decided that because my sister has a nice vehicle, she must have money, so is suing her and state farm.

I'm kinda sad because one of the factors to our house choice was ability for my dad to get in from a wheelchair. I know it's a trek, but I hope my mom will come over some.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (0 Black Pixel)
Around 10:20 am or so his pulse dropped from around 110 to around 70, with no increase in blood pressure. It was running 60-80 over 30. He'd been in acidosis for a while, which is like what runners get. Basically, it wasn't enough pressure to get oxygen to the rest of his body. The tissues did alot of anerobic work producing lactic acid. As the acid levels climbed, the heart too became tired.

They had been giving him sodium bicarbinate and calcium and epinephrine (adrenaline) to keep his heart going pretty much so we could come see him. He was septic and also had taken on general swelling, so he was bloaty. Even his tongue was kinda bloaded. His kidneys had failed during surgery, and were completely gone - no urine at all. Basically, everything was infected, and there wasn't enough left in him for his body to heal or fight infection. It was much worse than they had anticipated.

So the epinephrine ran out about 11am and it took about 15 mins for his heart to go ahead and stop. Even after it stopped, it quivvered every few seconds, but it finally stopped. He turned pale, then bluish, and the rest of his skin turned a mottledy. His forearm was a little warm, but his hand got cold. He didn't like it when his hands were cold because he had trouble feeling them or gripping things.

I have some video of him, and some photos. I wish I had more. I'm really going to miss him. He was only 61.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
Technical details on condition )
Dad is in ICU right now. I was going to go tonight, but it's so late, I'm worried about fatigue and driving. Plus, I've been coughing alot and I don't want to pass that on to dad. I really want to go see him and tell his comatose brain that he's going to get better, but I think I'll go in the morning. I'm kinda torn about it still.
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
Jenn called just a couple of minutes ago

Physician's assistant said he should be coming out in about 30 mins.

They did 2 coronary bypasses instead of one.

They took pacemaker and leads out, but they went ahead and put in new leads. They haven't put in a new pacemaker, but they have the hardware there to make it less of a hassle next time.

They did replace his mitral valve (Inlet to right ventrical), which was high liklihood.

They replaced his tricuspid valve as well (Aortic valve or outlet from same ventricle).

That's one hell of a surgery.

Anyway, When the thoracic surgeon calls, I asked Jenn to find out if they replaced his aortic root or JUST the valve. Sometimes they do the whole root for better stability of the implant.

Dad

Jan. 14th, 2003 09:56 pm
xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
He's been in surgery since about 11:30am, and it's 9:55pm, sooooo It was supposed to be 4-8 hours. At 8pm they said it'd be one more hour.

I'm a little concerned and would like to know what sorts of complications they have run into.

A few hours ago, I started pondering about this:

Dying during surgery is an oxymoron. During surgery, he's on sedatives, narcotics and paralytic agents, his heart is bypassed and stopped, and he's on a ventilator. Aka, during surgery, he's effectively dead.

The real trick is re-starting his heart after the surgery. I'm wondering if they decided they needed to put a pacemaker back in anyway.

The duration of the surgery make me happy, for the only time ever, that he heals slowly. I would hate for the skin to grow closed on the edges where they have to stitch him up.

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xaminmo: Josh 2016 (Default)
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