Jul. 10th, 2017 10:50 am
m0rg4n: (Exit)
[personal profile] m0rg4n
 About 6 months ago a sibling found out they had polyps.  I'm not exactly sure of the chain of events but it went something like: *hemorrhoid? *in office removal - didn't work but they took a biopsy. *biopsy came back as precancer. *nearly 6 months of stress, dr apts, bags, more stress, infection. *now, finally - recovery.  During this time I also found out polyps run in my family so I made an appointment to have my own colonoscopy done.  I figure this will be good snapchat bonding.  My apt is tomorrow and while it's a simple 20 minutes of sedated nap time I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out a little bit.  

I think, at least for me, my Dad dying when I was 17 permanently scarred my ability to think clearly when it comes to anything regarding health.  Strange freckle - cancer.  Headache that won't go away - tumor.  Random feeling of oddness - cancer.  So obviously they're going to find something wrong with me tomorrow.  I know realistically the only thing they might find is a polyp that will then be removed, I won't feel it, I'll be back to 100% again as soon as I eat something when I get home and the only long term change will be that I get these little check ups more often than most... which I'll probably be doing now anyway.  

It's so odd.  I really did sit down here to write out a bit about how I've had the last actual food I get to eat for the next 36 hours.  A warning to anyone who sees or talks to me in between now and tomorrow evening that I will be maybe a little grumpy.  Zoe is currently torn between finding someone to move in with and sticking around as I've given her permission to take video* after I get home from the hospital.  The internet is proof that sedation makes everyone hilarious and she wants to remember it forever.  I think she'll be disappointed because I imagine I'm hilarious ALL the time and sedation will just make me sleepy.  

So yeah, I imagine I'll be away from the computer for a bit.  At least facebook.  Writing here is just a little different.  Unless linked, I think there's only 3 or 4 people that keep up with it.  Anxiety yesterday was through the roof but most of that is just "waiting".  Today is a little different because I'm being active - even if it's only actively not eating as preparation.  Indy has a vet appointment at 2 that we'll walk to regardless of rain because it'll be good for me.  I need to pick up some yarn so I can keep working on a christmas blanket.  Until dinner I'm just waiting.  After dinner I'm just waiting in the bathroom  :(  NOT happy about that (but I did weigh myself this morning and plan on weighing myself tomorrow morning because I'm really an 8 year old).  Think happy thoughts and have something delicious for lunch and dinner.

* She can take video but she's not allowed to share unless she has approval from both B and I.


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